OK, so I finally caved and watched the first Twilight movie. For those of you who live on Mars, Twilight was adopted from the series of books of the same name, authored by Stephanie Meyer. The books centre around the teenage love affair of 17 year old, Isabella "Bella" Swan, and vampire, Edward Cullen.
Now, I haven't read the books, but the very first thing I noticed about Twilight was how incredibly bad the characters were. Almost from the very first scene, Robert Pattinson who plays the vampire Edward Cullen, was close to making me throw up. The word camp springs to mind; Robert Pattinson would have looked more at home in a rainbow production of the bird cage. Hey, Robert Pattinson, the gay community called, and they want their mannerisms back! I know vampires are supposed to have a smooth and suave mystique about them, but the Edward Cullen character was more limp than smooth. Oh, and If this is the guy who's bringing sexy back, then there is hope for John Merrick yet. Don't get me wrong, I have many gay friends; I just don't think that that is the way 104 year old vampires who have a thing for 17 year old girls would carry themselves. Also, on that note, does no one else but me find it slightly creepy that someone of that age is lusting over a teenager? I mean, shouldn't Edward Cullen be signing some sort of register?
All the kids in Twilight reminded me of one of those happy smiley adverts from 1950s America; only there was more colour in those ads. The acting was stiff and awkward a lot of the time, and this really made the movie feel like just another thrown together production, exclusively aimed at exploiting the hormones of teenage girls. Of course, based on the massive following Twilight now has in the, impressionable teenage girl market, they obviously achieved their goal. The plot of the movie wasn't so bad, and for me it was the saving grace. However, I just can't enjoy a movie if I spend half the time feeling embarrassed for the actors, and the other half trying to get the tune of The Village people - YMCA, out of my head.
If these movies mean that more kids are reading, then that is a good thing. Just as long as we don't end up with Harry Potter and Twilight gangs; running the streets staging dance offs like something from a Tim Burton remake of Westside Story. If you are not too attached to your IQ, then park it at the door and give Twilight a look; but if like me you prefer your movies with more substance than the eternal void of nothingness, then give it a miss.
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